Church #35, Unionville Reformed Church

Date: 6/30/13

Church name/type: Unionville Reformed Church (sign out from reads: Union Dutch Reformed Church), RCA

Pastor: Tom Kendall

Style of worship: Short structured service common to reformed churches- did not seem particularly uptight regarding formalities eg: prayer time was open to congregational intentions

Overall Impression: Good and friendly

Thoughts:
Well, another week, another Reformed Church. As a whole, I’m still very much liking the denomination. This group had a very easy friendliness going on. I felt welcomed as a matter of course. People seemed genuinely happy to be there and happy that I was there.

I thought the message was remarkably cohesive, especially given what I found out later – the pastor is near 90. Because it was so near to the Fourth of July there was some amount of crossover with the sermon. The pastor cited several times how lucky we are. He mentioned all the good things we have access to and the fact that we worship whatever way we like and no one bothers us. He said we thank God that wars are past and we have come through ok on the other side. In this vein he referenced December 7th- I checked that date and it was clear he was referring to the bombing of Pearl Harbor. It’s really a much different feel to hear about us victorious in war when it comes from someone of an older set. It removes from now; separates. And WWII has many more implications as compared to our most recent wars. To hear an older person talk about winning a war doesn’t have the same intimidation as the same words coming from a young person who you feel could still actually get up and go fight.

There was alot in the message about ourselves having a covenant with God. Every day, pastor said, we remake this covenant with God. Every day we say yes. That’s a good way to look at commitment. You cannot say ok once and expect matters to see to themselves. You have to remind yourself what you meant to do and them do it. It’s the same way for weight loss, relationships, keeping a secret, or whatever you commit to doing.

I suppose that with a message about committing to God, there is automatically going to be a message about the opposite. There was a quick reference to atheism being on the rise, but no follow up. I’d guess that this was supposed to be taken as an automatic negative. I kind of wanted to engage in some conversation afterwards about this, but wound up mostly describing the blog to someone who doesn’t use the Internet. It does bug me that there are Christians who seem to think atheists are a bunch of bitter, selfish jerks. That’s not my experience. I am however willing to partly forgive the atheists=negative sentiment, because of what it was followed by. The pastor said, “One wonders how so many called Christians use God’s name so indiscriminately.” This is a bit better. Christians aren’t getting automatically lumped into the ‘good’ category based on name alone. We can’t just assume God loves us best and all we do us golden. Citing God’s name doesn’t make us right. We actually have to follow the things Jesus said. Take care of your neighbor. Help the poor and hurting. I can hear all of this in the pastor’s statement. And maybe I’m projecting a bit, but hey, that’s how it speaks to me. I guess I’m starting to see sermons as one might see a more abstract piece of art or film. I’m drawn to the idea that spoken words are no longer yours after you speak them. They are the property of the listener. You can explain what you meant, but the listener hears what they hear. I liked the places this sermon took me because of the way it made me think and what I heard in it.

Go to church, get a plant!: A woman was giving away free baby tomato plants. I took only one (although I was told to take more if I liked) because plants sometimes die in my care. I got home and planted it in a bare spot, where it was promptly destroyed by a chipmunk who likes digging in lightly packed soil. Oh well.

Church #30, Third Reformed Church Albany

Date: 4/7/13

Church name/type: Third Reformed Church, Albany, RCA

Pastor: The sermon was given by a Preaching Elder named Pete Pagerey. He was visiting from First Church in Albany. Not sure who the usual pastor is.

Style of worship: Formal worship structure, mildly casual

Overall Impression: Um, old vibe? Otherwise not much impression at all.

Thoughts: I didn’t get much of a strong vibe from this church. I mean it wasn’t that great, wasn’t that bad. The parking lot is at the back of the church and a fence stops you from walking around to the front door. The back door leads to a hall and rooms attached to the church, but it wasn’t too hard finding the worship space from there. The parishioners seem to have chit-chat time both before and after service in an adjoining room. I didn’t feel like trying the before-service variety, so I just collected my thoughts and waited for things to start. I like the program pamphlet at this place. It gave hymn numbers for each song and even the short responses. If I were a regular member I’m sure I’d have the responses by heart. The fact that they were included makes me feel more welcome as a guest.

The regular pastor was off, so we listened to an Elder (a pastor, I think) borrowed from another church. He did an interesting children’s time about bird calls. We need to learn about different bird’s calls, but god knows our voices without having to look them up in some way. Moving on, the sermon was about Thomas the apostle and his famous reaction to Jesus’ return while Thomas was absent. Thomas so often gets a bad rap. But maybe he shouldn’t. We heard that Thomas was lacking in faith and this was because of ’emotional’ hesitance. Thomas was upset because he couldn’t believe that Jesus would a) leave and then b) come back. So Jesus was nice enough to reappear just for him.

Honestly the message about Thomas lost me somewhere. I think the point was supposed to be -let’s not pick on poor Thomas. I dig that, but the reason was unclear. Are we supposed to see Jesus as someone who indulges us when we don’t believe ’emotionally’? If so, why doesn’t he appear to all of us? What gives Thomas the right to the preferential treatment? Or is Jesus only corporeal for limited time, like he’s running out of…I don’t know, ectoplasm or something? The message confused me enough that I started daydreaming again about the stained glass windows. They are so green and so plain. Why? Don’t stained glass windows usually have pictures? Are we supposed to imagine our own? I don’t mind!

The last thing I will add is the demographic in this church tended older. Those I chatted with after service were probably more than a decade my senior. They assured me their church was diverse, but mostly they looked old and European. The young family was also the black family, so that’s not alot. On the other hand the church was not well filled. One family constitutes a significant chunk if the number is low enough. I guess it’s a bit disappointing either way.

Their website: Needs fixing! There is a link for ‘worship’ that leads to an error message. If I want service times and don’t see them on the main page, I would click the word worship. Having to dig around on a partly broken website for when to show up is not a good first impression.

Church #21, Jerusalem Reformed Church

Date: 10/21/12

Church name/type: Jerusalem Reformed Church in Feura Bush (RCA)

Format summary: service was OUTSIDE for a single special dealio, so the format was pretty loose- Acoustic guitars played and we heard the pastor preach and gave money and there was the Lord’s prayer

Overall Impression: I like it!

Thoughts: I keep finding these churches on the interesting Sunday. The building looks small and well kept but I was outside it until coffee hour. The lawn is good too. They set up two metal fire pits we all pulled chairs around. I’d guess we were about twenty people maybe more. The format structure was mainly provided by the guitar music. It bookended everything. The pastor less read scripture and more paraphrased it, which I actually enjoyed. I myself often paraphrase scripture rather than quote it. It’s just so bulky and unwieldy, you know?

The sermon was about David. We were asked to recall how he was chosen for king as a boy tending sheep. God wanted him over all his older, stronger brothers. As a child he defeated the mighty Goliath. And there was a story I was not familiar with; Michal and David’s underwear! Michal is David’s wife. David has just welcomed the Ark back into a proper building in town or whatever after having it hidden in the wilderness. Everyone is there because its a big celebration. David is so joyful that he dances wearing only a linen ephod (some kind of undergarment). Michal then scolds him saying, “Hey stop embarrassing yourself in front of all those slave girls!” David says, “Look lady, for God I’ll embarrass myself as much as I want!” The lesson we are supposed to take from this being that when we focus on God it doesn’t matter what other people say or think. We are experiencing God and that is really important.

Then again I can kinda see what Michal is annoyed about. She probably thinks this is a flimsy excuse for David to show off to the ladies- ladies he may have been trying to get lucky with (or maybe already had). Kings had lots of extra ladies. Is Michal allowed to have extra dudes? I’m betting not. So yeah, I’d lean towards being annoyed if I were Michal.

So I learned a new story. After service was done most of us went back inside for coffee, brownies and cookies. I had a really nice, normal talk with a man who described himself as a church elder. He had at some point been involved in the consistory (which I think I can define as like a church council) and said the term ‘elder’ was a good descriptor for someone that was or is part of the consistory. We talked about me a bit because he asked. I said my background was Catholic then we both agreed that the Pope should get with the program and be more open with the priest requirements- maybe include marriage or females. He was nice and seemed very down to earth. I had several other people welcome me and invite me back; not to mention the ladies who helped me park and found me a chair to pull outside.

Overall I like this place, the people seem nice. The pastor recognized my name when I gave it. This is the third time now someone at a new church has heard of me. A reputation is new to me and it’s kind of cool- especially when people seem enthusiastic and interested in my project. Hopefully I’m still happy with that as it starts to happen more often.

Caught you!: I noticed the pastor said of David that “little guys can do big things”…There’s something familiar about that word order and choice. I think I just caught you quoting VeggieTales. Yes?

Church #21, Jerusalem Reformed Church

Date: 10/21/12

Church name/type: Jerusalem Reformed Church in Feura Bush (RCA)

Format summary: service was OUTSIDE for a single special dealio, so the format was pretty loose- Acoustic guitars played and we heard the pastor preach and gave money and there was the Lord’s prayer

Overall Impression: I like it!

Thoughts: I keep finding these churches on the interesting Sunday. The building looks small and well kept but I was outside it until coffee hour. The lawn is good too. They set up two metal fire pits we all pulled chairs around. I’d guess we were about twenty people maybe more. The format structure was mainly provided by the guitar music. It bookended everything. The pastor less read scripture and more paraphrased it, which I actually enjoyed. I myself often paraphrase scripture rather than quote it. It’s just so bulky and unwieldy, you know?

The sermon was about David. We were asked to recall how he was chosen for king as a boy tending sheep. God wanted him over all his older, stronger brothers. As a child he defeated the mighty Goliath. And there was a story I was not familiar with; Michal and David’s underwear! Michal is David’s wife. David has just welcomed the Ark back into a proper building in town or whatever after having it hidden in the wilderness. Everyone is there because its a big celebration. David is so joyful that he dances wearing only a linen ephod (some kind of undergarment). Michal then scolds him saying, “Hey stop embarrassing yourself in front of all those slave girls!” David says, “Look lady, for God I’ll embarrass myself as much as I want!” The lesson we are supposed to take from this being that when we focus on God it doesn’t matter what other people say or think. We are experiencing God and that is really important.

Then again I can kinda see what Michal is annoyed about. She probably thinks this is a flimsy excuse for David to show off to the ladies- ladies he may have been trying to get lucky with (or maybe already had). Kings had lots of extra ladies. Is Michal allowed to have extra dudes? I’m betting not. So yeah, I’d lean towards being annoyed if I were Michal.

So I learned a new story. After service was done most of us went back inside for coffee, brownies and cookies. I had a really nice, normal talk with a man who described himself as a church elder. He had at some point been involved in the consistory (which I think I can define as like a church council) and said the term ‘elder’ was a good descriptor for someone that was or is part of the consistory. We talked about me a bit because he asked. I said my background was Catholic then we both agreed that the Pope should get with the program and be more open with the priest requirements- maybe include marriage or females. He was nice and seemed very down to earth. I had several other people welcome me and invite me back; not to mention the ladies who helped me park and found me a chair to pull outside.

Overall I like this place, the people seem nice. The pastor recognized my name when I gave it. This is the third time now someone at a new church has heard of me. A reputation is new to me and it’s kind of cool- especially when people seem enthusiastic and interested in my project. Hopefully I’m still happy with that as it starts to happen more often.

Caught you!: I noticed the pastor said of David that “little guys can do big things”…There’s something familiar about that word order and choice. I think I just caught you quoting VeggieTales. Yes?

Church #19, First Reformed Church of Bethlehem in Selkirk

Date: 9/30/12

Church name/type: First Reformed Church of Bethlehem (RCA)

Format summary: The usual, announcements at the beginning were informal, group reciting of lines like the call to worship, songs, musical chairs peace, sermon and closing

Overall Impression: it was alright.

Thoughts:
The biggest thing that stuck with me after leaving the service was how neutral it made me feel. It wasn’t bad but wasn’t great. The sermon was about tossing out walls and boundaries that separate the churchgoer from others out in the world. That we ought to accept and welcome those who come through our door no matter what they look like. All this talk about welcome, and at the coffee hour, it was only after several minutes that I was hesitantly greeted by two people. It was a bit disappointing.

During coffee hour, I was introduced to two other people who had done a year long ‘searching for a church’ project. After I got home I realized that they had more to say about the negative experiences they left than the positive ones they found. I guess that could be an indicator on why most people do church searches. They don’t leave a place until they have to, then they find one that isn’t so bad. I guess it’s good for me that I don’t need a church to be everything for me and I’m not looking for a new home. I have everything to gain and less to lose in not finding the mythical perfect church. But I’m digressing.

The church building seemed fine, the format was normal, people smiled at me. But no one went too far in talking to me. I don’t know what the lukewarm reception was about. It looks like a small enough place for people to have recognized me as new. Maybe this church just not lively as a whole. Maybe very few of them care about what they are doing. Or maybe they are all just really reserved. I guess it’s good that they didn’t go the other way and mob me, clamoring for my return next week. But it does make me wonder if they all don’t know each other from strangers or something.

So what did I like?: This church has a food pantry serving the needs of the local community. It’s in the basement. Whenever I am sad, I shop for it. That way, even if I feel like crap at least I’m helping someone.

Church #10, Delmar Reformed Church Part 2!

Date: 5/6/12

Church: Delmar Reformed Church

Pastor: Dirk Gieser on sermon, David Corlett did some of the other parts of service

Time Spent: 9:30am-11:00am

Overall Impression: pretty much as before- nice people, nice place

Type: Reformed Church in America

Format: Traditional worship: announcements, unison words, hymn, unison prayer, children’s time, more unison prayer, scripture, sermon, doxology!, hymn, communion, hymn and closing

Thoughts: Second half of my planned visit to this church was totally worth it. The service felt like what would happen if you took a 1:1 mix of all the good parts of Methodist and Roman Catholic churches. The traditional space is very formal with lovely stained glass windows. The service was easy to follow, owing to the neatly printed outline in the service handout. If anything I actually found the traditional format more likable than the contemporary. It’s not like people were either stuffy or unfriendly at the traditional worship. I showed up in a clean but rather large tee-shirt and jeans with a rip in the knee, but no one frowned at me. The woman on my right briefly engaged me in conversation after service and would have talked longer, I think, if I hadn’t spied another person I knew from my camp counselor days. We also had the following exchange during service. She set a leathery covered folder on my stuff. I realized I must somehow not have given her enough space so I politely moved my coat and bag. Then she smiled and whispered “No, it’s for you to put your name in -only if you want to.” It was a folder with the attendance and it wasn’t to single me out as a newbie. I noticed her name and another were marked as regular attendees. So I put my name in and handed it to my other side. The lady on my other side also smiled at me and whispered that I could give it back to the first woman if I was done. This simple exchange made me very happy, because it demonstrated politeness and zero amount of pushiness. If all Reformed churches are as nice as this one and church #4, it will be my new favorite denomination.

The sermon was another about marriage; this time utilizing the first letter to the Corinthians. Paul (the letter author) talks about coming to the church and whether it is best to be single. Paul seems to like being single because a marriage is “impending distress”, but he says it’s fine to be married or single or even widowed. Come as you are and God will be cool with that. Now this Sunday an interesting thing happened. My blog was quoted. You may remember that I wrote about the first visit to Delmar Reformed and the sermon used Ephesians and a verse describing men and women and what they ought to bring to a marriage. Women were told to respect and men were told to love- this from the bible. Additionally Pastor Dirk made it clear women should also love and men should also respect. I pointed out that Paul might not have been forward thinking enough to state his sentiment with the equality it needed. This week Pastor Dirk noted my observation and then pointed out that in the following verse from Corinthians, our writer Paul actually gives men and women identical treatment:

For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does.

So husbands and wives can both say to each other “your bod is mine!” Is it just me or does Paul write kinda hot for a single guy?

A couple of additional points I left out regarding the service; 1) The only thing missing was the greeting of your neighbor. I am used to this in most churches, although it’s not like much was lost here. 2) It was a communion week. In this church you don’t have to go up front- they actually serve you at your seat! 3) Did I mention I love the doxology? I wish it could be my ringtone.

Overall Feelings: Now that I can accurately compare the two styles, I think the traditional version is plenty accessible that they don’t need a contemporary worship. The sermon style certainly felt the same. No one really minded my relaxed outfit at the traditional. And there were a couple things done better at the traditional. I felt better following a modestly detailed outline that the traditional service provided vs. the loosely written contemporary one. It’s also easier for me (coming from a musical background) to read music from a hymnal than guess at a melody line with words on a screen. But my advice is to go with what the congregation likes. Catering to the visitor over the regular is not a good idea. (go read my post about OldChurch) All in all I still really like this place.

Church #10, Delmar Reformed Church

Date: 4/15/12

Church: Delmar Reformed Church

Pastor: Reverend Dirk Gieser

Time Spent: 11:15am-12:30pm

Overall Impression: Kinda fun

Type: Reformed Church in America

Format: Contemporary worship: singing to words on a screen, children’s time, sermon (bible verse imbedded), song and closing

Thoughts: The place is extremely wide with several entrances, so I asked a couple exiting about where to enter. I was brought in and introduced to an usher and shown the contemporary worship space. There is also a sanctuary with traditional pews and altar which houses the traditional worship at 9:30am. The usher seemed keen on introducing me to some other people, to which I smiled but worried inwardly. The first two people I met were really talking to me a lot and that usually means everyone will try to welcome me. Actually only one other person engaged me for any length of time, and I think he chose to do so rather than being prompted to. That ended up being cool as we talked after the service. We had some things in common, we were similar in age, and he didn’t come off as trying to sell me on the place. That all happened after the service though. At the beginning I was still dubious. The contemporary worship was arranged physically like others I’ve seen; the band at the front with some guitars, a singer, and words on a screen behind them. But it was tamer than a lot of places might do. No one put their hands in the air, or shouted ‘yes Jesus!’ or danced much. Actually there were a couple of kids dancing. But, mostly people just stood there singing quietly. I assume that means the shouting and hands up stuff is not usual for Reformers (Reformists? Reformites?) and they were just doing like they always do. There weren’t too many people in attendance. Maybe there were 30ish? I really expected more because again, the outside looks huge. But no one seemed bothered by the turnout so, on we went!

The sermon was about marriage and Ephesians 5:33. That’s the verse the no one I know likes, but it still turned out to be a really worthwhile sermon with some good points. Here are the ones I remember. Actually the verse first:

“Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband”

Remember that nonsense? It makes it sound like the wife and husband are held to different standards. I liked how it was addressed though. Men and women are different. They have different hormones going on, their brains actually seem to have different strengths and weaknesses when compared, things have different types of importance to women vs men. I can relate to a story the pastor told- If a man says, “I have nothing to wear!” what does he mean? Probably, most of his clothes are in the laundry. If a woman says the same words, she’ll often mean that she has nothing new in her closet. These don’t fit everyone of course, but it illustrates that the sexes think of things differently. The pastor said (and he was basing this on a relationship book called Love and Respect) that women tend to seek love and men tend to seek respect. Breakups can ensue if either partner doesn’t feel they are getting what they are after. So it might be helpful to know which one is more important to you- if you fit the majority or not. The bible verse seems to have been written for the majority. It’s telling us to give the other person what they want. And it’s pretty old as documents go, so maybe they weren’t progressive enough to think of writing it the other way too. Pastor Dirk clearly thinks love and respect should extend both ways, and in fact that it’s necessary for a solid marriage. I’m going to tack this on the end, but he gave us a statistic that I think is very strange. I’m not sure how to interpret it. A study asking about marriage had 40% of people saying they thought it was becoming obsolete. 95% of the VERY SAME PEOPLE said they wanted a marriage. I am confused by this, but it also sounds like the people in the study were fairly confused too, so I’m not worried about it.

Overall Feelings: I’m still trying to decide if I like the casual formula as they have it. I haven’t seen the traditional service (yet), so I will hold off comparing the two until I can get back there to see the other half of it- so to speak. As a stand alone the service turned out to be alright. Also really good talks after service. The people there seem very real.

Church #4, Glenmont Community Church

Date: 1/29/12

Church: Glenmont Community Church (Reformed)

Pastor: Abby Norton-Levering

Time Spent: 10am-11:30am

Overall Impression: Good, familiar, small community

Type: Reformed Church in America

Format: Some opening words and a song, greeting time, congregation speaks some lines together, scripture and song, sermon, prayer, song, blessing

Thoughts: The feel is very like several Methodist Churches I’ve been to. The format was basically identical. I fear I will have very little to say about this church, simply because it was not alien to me. It felt like a church. There were pews and a loft for an organ, hymnals and bibles, and I got to sing the doxology. I sure do love singing the doxology. For any unfamiliar with it, here’s the words:

Praise God from whom all blessings flow,

Praise Him all creatures here below,

Praise Him above ye heavenly host,

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

A-men!

That has such great memories for me from camp and the different tunes we used to sing it as a grace before meals.

The greeting time near the beginning of service was the ‘musical chairs’ type, in which everyone moves all over church to say hi to everyone. I got a hug from an older gentleman named Jay, who seemed nice. Also there was a prayer time open to the congregation, in which we took turns giving Pastor Abby prayer requests. Then she led us in prayer over the requests. This again was very like the Methodist Churches I’ve been to.

The church is small. The building isn’t too big and those attending church don’t fill the building more than one third. They told me it was down to about five families at one point, in danger of closing. But it didn’t and has grown some since. And it is fairly active in terms of projects geared towards helping the needy, especially considering its size. I’ve been to churches with size/attendance issues before and I’ve seen how tough that can be, so I hope this church can continue and be where it needs to be. As for me, the nature of my project says I must go on to the next church on my list. I do however think I will be stopping at this church too sometimes with canned goods for their food bank affiliate. They are conveniently located right next to a grocery store.

Overall Feelings: I like this place, and would be willing to go back again.