I don’t get prayer. I don’t get how prayer helps us. The mixed messages I’ve been exposed to drive me insane on this one. I’ve heard that God knows what we need. Why should we pray? I’ve heard that prayer works. Pray until something happens! But what if nothing happens? Some prayers are answered and some seem to NEVER be. Is it based on how strong your faith is? Is it based on how often you pray? How long you pray? How good you pray? Why is prayer given as the answer when there is hurt in the world? Prayer is not the answer. There’s been hurt in the world since Jesus; are we all just not praying right or something? People lose their jobs, their loved ones- they are wracked with guilt over things they never even did wrong- they suffer pain for reasons that defy physicians- I see it and it’s horrible. I know there are other things out there I can’t even imagine, maybe so horrible my heart would break if I saw them. What am I not seeing? How bad is it in the world and why do my prayers seem to do so little good? I don’t get prayer. I don’t get prayer.
Church #22, First Congregational Church, Albany
Date: 10/28/12
Church name/type: First Congregational Church (Albany), part of the UCC -United Church of Christ
Format summary: Again the format was structured like either Methodist or Reformed, and I got to sing the doxology.
Overall Impression: Very good
Thoughts:
I haven’t mentioned use of the bulletin or program in a while. This church had a nice, easy to follow bulletin. It included hymn page numbers for short response songs the regular churchgoers would sing every week, but newcomers wouldn’t necessarily know. I think it’s a small point but a good one. It shows a level of concern that all who arrive through the doors be able to join in easily.
I found a lot of things at this church to recommend both it and the denomination. The pastor gave a really interesting sermon about change and upheaval. We were reminded of the Reformation which started so many different types of Protestant groups. Even at the very beginning it was never just one Protestant church. There were a bunch and they weren’t all reconciled on various points. The pastor mentioned a theory of the 500 year shakeups. The theory goes, every 500 years people shake things up and make great changes. The Reformation marked one of these. If accurate we are on the brink of another one. Reformation Sunday should not be a day on which we congratulate ourselves on leaving behind old stuff and finally getting it right. It should be a day we think about what change still needs to be made and what lists need to be nailed to the church door. Keep in mind these are the points I usually make in my own notes, however in this case I didn’t have to introspect them, the pastor actually said them.
Next comes the most awesome thing of my journey so far. The pastor of this church spoke about being gay. Yes that’s right. This church and denomination are good with that. And everything it means. Some other closely related denominations still seem to be in a state of flux about the question of gay ministers and gay in general. It’s cool and unexpected to find a place that has finally settled on “yes it’s ok”. I’m not even sure there’s another Congregational church on my list, but I am fairly excited about the denomination right now.
*It was recently pointed out to me that it’s the denomination UCC (United Church of Christ) that is ok with homosexuality. Congregationalist is a term which refers to the fact that each church is rather independent of the other Congregational churches. So every church calling its denomination Congregationalist makes many of its own choices as to teachings and beliefs. Some churches consider themselves UCC and Congregationalist, but not all Congregationalist churches took on the UCC modifier.
More again?: Yes I’d return. I’m strongly considering it in two weeks when the pastor talks some more about history on Founder Sunday. Plus I think I’d like to have another chance to chat with church members.
Church #21, Jerusalem Reformed Church
Date: 10/21/12
Church name/type: Jerusalem Reformed Church in Feura Bush (RCA)
Format summary: service was OUTSIDE for a single special dealio, so the format was pretty loose- Acoustic guitars played and we heard the pastor preach and gave money and there was the Lord’s prayer
Overall Impression: I like it!
Thoughts: I keep finding these churches on the interesting Sunday. The building looks small and well kept but I was outside it until coffee hour. The lawn is good too. They set up two metal fire pits we all pulled chairs around. I’d guess we were about twenty people maybe more. The format structure was mainly provided by the guitar music. It bookended everything. The pastor less read scripture and more paraphrased it, which I actually enjoyed. I myself often paraphrase scripture rather than quote it. It’s just so bulky and unwieldy, you know?
The sermon was about David. We were asked to recall how he was chosen for king as a boy tending sheep. God wanted him over all his older, stronger brothers. As a child he defeated the mighty Goliath. And there was a story I was not familiar with; Michal and David’s underwear! Michal is David’s wife. David has just welcomed the Ark back into a proper building in town or whatever after having it hidden in the wilderness. Everyone is there because its a big celebration. David is so joyful that he dances wearing only a linen ephod (some kind of undergarment). Michal then scolds him saying, “Hey stop embarrassing yourself in front of all those slave girls!” David says, “Look lady, for God I’ll embarrass myself as much as I want!” The lesson we are supposed to take from this being that when we focus on God it doesn’t matter what other people say or think. We are experiencing God and that is really important.
Then again I can kinda see what Michal is annoyed about. She probably thinks this is a flimsy excuse for David to show off to the ladies- ladies he may have been trying to get lucky with (or maybe already had). Kings had lots of extra ladies. Is Michal allowed to have extra dudes? I’m betting not. So yeah, I’d lean towards being annoyed if I were Michal.
So I learned a new story. After service was done most of us went back inside for coffee, brownies and cookies. I had a really nice, normal talk with a man who described himself as a church elder. He had at some point been involved in the consistory (which I think I can define as like a church council) and said the term ‘elder’ was a good descriptor for someone that was or is part of the consistory. We talked about me a bit because he asked. I said my background was Catholic then we both agreed that the Pope should get with the program and be more open with the priest requirements- maybe include marriage or females. He was nice and seemed very down to earth. I had several other people welcome me and invite me back; not to mention the ladies who helped me park and found me a chair to pull outside.
Overall I like this place, the people seem nice. The pastor recognized my name when I gave it. This is the third time now someone at a new church has heard of me. A reputation is new to me and it’s kind of cool- especially when people seem enthusiastic and interested in my project. Hopefully I’m still happy with that as it starts to happen more often.
Caught you!: I noticed the pastor said of David that “little guys can do big things”…There’s something familiar about that word order and choice. I think I just caught you quoting VeggieTales. Yes?
Church #21, Jerusalem Reformed Church
Date: 10/21/12
Church name/type: Jerusalem Reformed Church in Feura Bush (RCA)
Format summary: service was OUTSIDE for a single special dealio, so the format was pretty loose- Acoustic guitars played and we heard the pastor preach and gave money and there was the Lord’s prayer
Overall Impression: I like it!
Thoughts: I keep finding these churches on the interesting Sunday. The building looks small and well kept but I was outside it until coffee hour. The lawn is good too. They set up two metal fire pits we all pulled chairs around. I’d guess we were about twenty people maybe more. The format structure was mainly provided by the guitar music. It bookended everything. The pastor less read scripture and more paraphrased it, which I actually enjoyed. I myself often paraphrase scripture rather than quote it. It’s just so bulky and unwieldy, you know?
The sermon was about David. We were asked to recall how he was chosen for king as a boy tending sheep. God wanted him over all his older, stronger brothers. As a child he defeated the mighty Goliath. And there was a story I was not familiar with; Michal and David’s underwear! Michal is David’s wife. David has just welcomed the Ark back into a proper building in town or whatever after having it hidden in the wilderness. Everyone is there because its a big celebration. David is so joyful that he dances wearing only a linen ephod (some kind of undergarment). Michal then scolds him saying, “Hey stop embarrassing yourself in front of all those slave girls!” David says, “Look lady, for God I’ll embarrass myself as much as I want!” The lesson we are supposed to take from this being that when we focus on God it doesn’t matter what other people say or think. We are experiencing God and that is really important.
Then again I can kinda see what Michal is annoyed about. She probably thinks this is a flimsy excuse for David to show off to the ladies- ladies he may have been trying to get lucky with (or maybe already had). Kings had lots of extra ladies. Is Michal allowed to have extra dudes? I’m betting not. So yeah, I’d lean towards being annoyed if I were Michal.
So I learned a new story. After service was done most of us went back inside for coffee, brownies and cookies. I had a really nice, normal talk with a man who described himself as a church elder. He had at some point been involved in the consistory (which I think I can define as like a church council) and said the term ‘elder’ was a good descriptor for someone that was or is part of the consistory. We talked about me a bit because he asked. I said my background was Catholic then we both agreed that the Pope should get with the program and be more open with the priest requirements- maybe include marriage or females. He was nice and seemed very down to earth. I had several other people welcome me and invite me back; not to mention the ladies who helped me park and found me a chair to pull outside.
Overall I like this place, the people seem nice. The pastor recognized my name when I gave it. This is the third time now someone at a new church has heard of me. A reputation is new to me and it’s kind of cool- especially when people seem enthusiastic and interested in my project. Hopefully I’m still happy with that as it starts to happen more often.
Caught you!: I noticed the pastor said of David that “little guys can do big things”…There’s something familiar about that word order and choice. I think I just caught you quoting VeggieTales. Yes?
Church #20, St Sophia’s Greek Orthodox Church
Date: 10/7/11 and 10/14/2
Church name/type: St Sophia’s Greek Orthodox Church
Format summary: As I remember it here are all the parts- choir music (in Greek), prayers from father, entrance with the big glitzy bible, readings, more prayer and choir responses, lots of words regarding the bread and wine, people file up to take bread and wine, more prayer and song by the choir, sermon and announcements.
Overall Impression: Half Greek to me!
Thoughts:
Incredibly interesting and compelling. I have gone twice now and I’m sorely tempted to go twice more. I could spend a long time trying to understand all the parts of the divine liturgy on my own. I did fairly well with the Greek by following along in the book that sits in all the seat backs. It has spots for when to sit or stand, so each time we did that I found my place again. Also the choir sings ‘Kyrie Eleison’ about two or three dozen times which means ‘Lord have mercy’- another good means of keeping my spot. My Catholic background helped me out with the format. I recognized certain parts such as the Nicene Creed. And my choir days gave me bits of Greek.
The first thing I noticed was the atmosphere. The church is absolutely stunning inside. There are murals (called icons) covering the walls; painted with brilliant colors and glittering like gold in some spots. The choir is clearly restricted to one corner of the room, yet the acoustics make it sound as though music radiates from the walls and ceiling. I pictured angels hovering invisibly in every corner serenading us. Everyone was dressed in nice dressy clothes. This is the first church where I’ve found that perfectly natural as a side-effect of the fact this place feels really special, almost another world. I am a big fan of the whole ‘a church is not a building it’s people’ but I was strongly drawn to the beauty of St Sophia’s. I guess in part that shows my Catholic roots. Catholicism has a strong tendency toward quiet reverence and symbolism and beauty in many aspects of worship.
As I said it was not too difficult to follow along in a cursory way. I’d have to go a few more times to get in depth on all the parts. An aspect that was rather unexpected was the width of separation between the bible readings and the sermon. Readings come almost at the very beginning whereas the sermon was at the end. The sermons were in English (thank goodness!) and they were good, but probably made more sense to one in context of being a regular orthodox church attendee. The 7th was about fasting and taking communion. Apparently there is some history of tradition that communion be taken only three times a year. Father Pat advocated that we move closer to receiving the gifts every Sunday. I sat out communion at this church. I believe I was correct in doing so according to the internal rules. I did get to watch and it was another new thing to see. The people were served wine on a spoon (one spoon for everyone) then received a chunk of bread to eat at their seats. At the end of liturgy, the extra bread was handed out as a snack. This was not one of the gifts/body of Christ; I asked if I’d be allowed to eat it and was told to go ahead. I don’t know if that means it was somehow unblessed after the fact or was never blessed in the first place. Either way I understood that in Orthodoxy as in the Catholic church, they believe the bread and wine become Christ’s body and blood.
I probably won’t be joining the Eastern Orthodox Church. I’d have to learn Greek or some other new language to get the most out of it. I’m not up for that based on my schedule these days. But it was kinda cool. Now I will have a bit of an easier time with the next Eastern Orthodox place whenever it comes up.
Daily history lesson: The Eastern Orthodox Church split from the Roman Catholic Church (or Rome split from them) in 1054 in what’s known as the East West Schism. Eastern Orthodox consider themselves the true church still following in the apostolic tradition. This makes the third church type I have visited that make this claim.
The mythical perfect church
So I thought I should address the idea of the perfect church. I’m putting it in the same category as the soul mate/one true love.
First my thoughts about soul mates and a one true love. The ‘one true love’ idea supposes a lot of things. It implies real love can only be found with one partner and no other for an entire lifetime. Someone who lost his mom to cancer told me he did not believe in the 1:1 love business because his dad had found happiness in a second marriage. There is no way to reconcile that apart from losing the myth of soul mates- unless of course you pick the first or second wife to label as ‘wrong for him’. And there are those who are clearly content with never choosing a single permanent partner. I used to work with a woman who put her career first in her life not because she was hiding from lack of a relationship. She enjoyed dates, but clearly loved her work and it was sort of her monogamy. So even though I do have a wonderful marriage that I wish to keep, I have rejected the notion that it is the only one I could ever have.
The next piece of the puzzle is the idea of perfection. If you believe in a soul mate, it follows they are the perfect one for you. Perfection is nice as an idea, but once you actually call a thing perfect you give it extremely high expectations. A cake that is perfect must be the best tasting with the most fantastic design, and as you eat it you forget about every other cake you ever had. So if you set out make the perfect cake you almost always disappoint. How could a spouse ever live up to the idea of perfection? I think the desire to have a soul mate leads some people to look for perfection and reject those who don’t seem to align exactly. Of course your partner in life can’t be perfect all the time, they are human! Which brings me to churches…
Churches are also a human construct. I know everyone thinks God lives at their church (maybe only at their church) but if I was God I’d hang out at the imperfect churches more. Kinda like how Jesus hung around sinners because they needed him more. And expecting perfection from a church isn’t realistic or helpful. It just means you will be disappointed. A church that believes itself to be perfect is on dangerous ground. If you think you have no improvements to make, you become arrogant and miss seeing problems that develop. You aren’t looking for them- after all, you’re perfect right? One of the themes I keep coming back to in this project is that of churches owning their identity and the negatives that are a part of that. It’s too easy to imagine that church, which is of God, can be only good. But people make a church up, and those can be wrong sometimes.
A really great thing about my project is that I am getting to experience such a wide range of views and messages. It feels like this actually works better than sticking with a single church ever did. I am constantly stimulated to re-think my theology and spirituality against new interpretations I hear both good and bad. Now that I understand a church cannot be the ‘one perfect church’ for me, I don’t have to pick just one. Community is nice, and so is getting to know people. But I don’t have to feel disloyal in any way if I attend a church for a short time then leave. Or if I attend three or four churches simultaneously. Or none at all. Jesus said “follow me”, but he didn’t say
“pick just one church ok?” Jesus traveled around and tried to change things he saw as negatives. Maybe it’s ok for us to do the same thing. And even if you prefer a monogamous church relationship, it should be a realistic one that acknowledges perfection as an ideal rather than an expectation.
Church #19, First Reformed Church of Bethlehem in Selkirk
Date: 9/30/12
Church name/type: First Reformed Church of Bethlehem (RCA)
Format summary: The usual, announcements at the beginning were informal, group reciting of lines like the call to worship, songs, musical chairs peace, sermon and closing
Overall Impression: it was alright.
Thoughts:
The biggest thing that stuck with me after leaving the service was how neutral it made me feel. It wasn’t bad but wasn’t great. The sermon was about tossing out walls and boundaries that separate the churchgoer from others out in the world. That we ought to accept and welcome those who come through our door no matter what they look like. All this talk about welcome, and at the coffee hour, it was only after several minutes that I was hesitantly greeted by two people. It was a bit disappointing.
During coffee hour, I was introduced to two other people who had done a year long ‘searching for a church’ project. After I got home I realized that they had more to say about the negative experiences they left than the positive ones they found. I guess that could be an indicator on why most people do church searches. They don’t leave a place until they have to, then they find one that isn’t so bad. I guess it’s good for me that I don’t need a church to be everything for me and I’m not looking for a new home. I have everything to gain and less to lose in not finding the mythical perfect church. But I’m digressing.
The church building seemed fine, the format was normal, people smiled at me. But no one went too far in talking to me. I don’t know what the lukewarm reception was about. It looks like a small enough place for people to have recognized me as new. Maybe this church just not lively as a whole. Maybe very few of them care about what they are doing. Or maybe they are all just really reserved. I guess it’s good that they didn’t go the other way and mob me, clamoring for my return next week. But it does make me wonder if they all don’t know each other from strangers or something.
So what did I like?: This church has a food pantry serving the needs of the local community. It’s in the basement. Whenever I am sad, I shop for it. That way, even if I feel like crap at least I’m helping someone.
Church #15, part 2, a nice lunch
So this Sunday I was just going to continue the next church in order. About the middle of the week I got a letter in the mail from a local address but didn’t recognize the name. I figured it was maybe an invitation to a reunion at a high school I never attended. I got one of those once- mistaken identity. I was wrong though. It was a handwritten invitation to lunch at that nice Presbyterian church I went to several weeks back. Exciting! I’ve been to almost twenty churches and left my address with several. This is the first church that has given me a personally written invitation back. And it was a lunch specifically for visitors.
Because I had been so personally invited by someone I actually talked with at the service last month, I decided to show up. I attended service first. Last time the interim pastor was away and somebody else filled in. So I got to hear Pastor Bob. I liked it, although I didn’t retain the message- probably because I was busy wondering what lunch would be like. After service I said hi to another woman I had met last time then found my way to the library.
I got to wear a name tag and chat a little bit with some other relatively new people. We sat down to eat and it became clear the pastor and welcoming committee were going to speak to us. I kept waiting for the ‘sales pitch’ (come join us, we really need you! etc) but it never actually came. Instead we got to hear some honest talk about how Delmar Presbyterian defines itself and what it would mean to attend there. And they even asked us for our input. Membership was mentioned but made out like an optional thing. Some people on committees aren’t even members officially. Everything was really low-key and informal. I liked the fact that they seem incredibly open to allowing people to be who they are. That seemed to be the case as much with newcomers as for the established congregation.
Recently, in order to prepare for the change in pastors (Bob is the short-term interim, remember) the church did a mission study to determine what the members are all about, what they are great at and less great at. They had attendees fill out a survey of 65 questions and used the answers to determine their identity and mission. One of the things that came through strongly was despite mixed theologies and political affinities, Delmar Presbyterian churchgoers had a strong sense of commitment to the interpretation of the two commandments of Jesus. Paraphrased it is, “Love God and love your neighbor.” The full verse is used in every Sunday service and taken as a part of the church mission statement. The survey also highlighted areas that represent challenges for this church to work on, such as events for youth and young adults.
It seems like they have a good handle on viewing themselves realistically. They aren’t seeing the church as a perfection, but they also aren’t seeing it as a charity case. As with anything, it has some positives and negatives. If they will grow and blossom during changing leadership, they need to be able to have this realistic type of outlook. It sounds like they are on the right track. I am curious to see how the process continues and will try to keep in touch with this church if I can within the project parameters.
Final thought: I met two other interim pastors in my life. They were both named Bob. Are all interim pastors named Bob? Until I have evidence to the contrary, I’m going with yes.
For Fun
No church this week. We were away traveling. Thought I’d have some fun and tell you about two funny things you might not know about in the gospels.
1) They blame Shirley.
Mark recounts at the last supper the disciples are sitting around eating together and Jesus says to them “One of you who is eating with me will betray me.” They all look around at each other and say “Shirley! Not I!”
2) The naked man.
This one’s not a stretch, he really is in there. (I’m still in Mark) After Jesus is arrested and I being led away, it says he is followed by a young man wearing nothing but a linen cloth. They grab ahold of him but he gets away -minus the linen cloth. So he escapes naked.
Why was this included in the gospels? I have no idea. But now you have two pieces of quasi-trivia to share with your friends!
Church #18, St Matthew Lutheran Church, Albany
Date: 9/9/12
Church name/type: St Matthew Lutheran Church, Missouri Synod
Format summary: Formal, the usual parts, heavier on scripture and song- in particular there were extra verses imbedded in the sermon
Overall Impression: um…good music?
Thoughts:
My impression of Lutheran churches so far is one of boredom. It feels just like a half-dead Catholic mass, only worse because it is more unfamiliar to me. This church wasn’t outright bad in any big concrete way, I just found little in there to recommend it.
There weren’t too many people at service. I don’t know how they support that school of theirs. Quite a few members were a bit on the older-side, you know, they looked like grandmas. Grandmas are fine, but a church full of them may be in some trouble.
The sermon did the exact opposite of something cool for me. It was mostly an exhortation to give more time, talent, and money. The pastor made a point of saying that we may feel as though we have reached our limit of giving and can give no more. He then said this is the time to conquer our sinfulness and give even more- and do it cheerfully! In my opinion, right now when so many are struggling, it is just plain rude to call those who give their best ‘sinful’. It was irresponsible of Pastor Nuss to issue this as a blanket statement when it is not applicable to some. We ought to all judge in our own hearts whether we give enough and act accordingly. There was no reason to make everyone feel not-good-enough.
Last paragraph! I might as well add the one cool thing that happened at this church. I was served communion on my tongue. It was cool in a weird way. It felt very old-school, like suddenly I was back in the early church before all the splits happened.
Noticed by anyone?: No one talked to me beyond the pastor. I mentioned my project but he was unconcerned about the details. This may be a new thing I’ll have to start noticing.